Well for any of you who missed yesterday’s update where I visited the gymnastic quad, just a quick recap. It went really well! Mrs Quite Nice ‘ish loved my floor work and said she thought it was of a standard she had not seen before.
Sadly though in my quest to try and fulfil my dreams of being the first dual citizen to compete for two countries in one event is at an end. I have run out of time.
I don’t think its going to happen although hope keeps doing that eternal springing thing it does in my heart.
Anyway, anyway as mentioned yesterday as I was politely carried, I mean escorted from the gym hall, I saw a hotdog stand with a 'staff wanted'' sign on the window by the till.
Well lo and behold who would have guessed it!
The stand is being run by good friend and neighbour Mrs Enid Nutter (94) who had managed to secure her little corner in the Olympic Village last year.
Enid true to her name does actually sell her ‘hot chestnuts by the open fire’ in winter.
She also whistles that song incessantly much to the ire of the other tenants in our block at home.
But in summer she sells ice creams, cool drink and hot dogs and chips at the Walthamstow market.
‘Why you look so glum La?’ she called when she spotted me sitting on the bench.
‘Do I?’ I shouted back, ‘No it is just the sun…’
And then I thought, its Mrs Nutter for goodness sake and a problem shared is… well its still a problem, but its nice to be able to talk to someone about it.
So just as I started to tell her about my Olympic dream, she interrupted me and said, ‘No for goodness sake La! I know the story. I have seen it on facebook!’
‘Oh ja of course!’ I mumbled having to squint still, as I think the sun was still so bright.
And then Mrs Nutter looked at me with a glint in her eye. Like I said the sun was helluva bright and the stadium is like all white too.
She said, ‘La I could really do with some help at my stand you know. I need someone to cover for me when I need to go to the loo, which as you know, is quite often.’ I didn’t know that, but nodded as if I did
'Okay' I thought and then I said it, ‘Okay I will!’
At least I would be part of the games and who knows someone might drop out still. Who knows what can happen hey?
Mrs Nutter put an apron on me and said she would be back in ten and walked off to the ladies.
A lovely young female athlete - I think from Venezuela - came up to me and said, ‘Could I have some hot chirps please?’
I was about to deliver a gag about how many chickens does it take to cross the Olympic Village, when I realized she wanted hot chips.
‘Oh chips! You want chips! Anything else with that? A pie or a hotdog?’
‘No just hot ‘chirps’ thanks!’
As I was about to hand over a packet to her, out of the blue of all of our heavens, five Olympic brand police rushed up to us from behind the fountain.
'Oh no! Not again!', I groaned.
‘No you can’t sell that like that!’ the commander shouted.
‘What?’ I asked politely
‘No only McUknowho are allowed to sell chips by themselves in the Olympic stadium. It is in their contract you fool. Vendors like Mrs Nutter can sell chips - but only with something like a pie…’
‘But the lady does not want a pie!’ I answered
‘Thaz right, I just want hot ‘chirps,’ the pretty athlete repeated
‘Well she can’t have them by themselves!’ they shouted, ‘Look its not us, we’re just following orders!’
‘Now hang on a minute!’ I said.
Mrs Nutter who had just got back from loo and who knows me, quickly put a crate in front me, onto which I stepped.
And so I began my impromptu speech.
‘You know like Winston Churchill said, I too had a dream…’
Mrs Nutter nudged my knee and whispered, ‘Martin Luther King said that!’
I whispered back, ‘Your right.’ and then turned back to the visitors who were starting to gather round.
‘The Olympics are supposed to uplift everyone in the world and especially in the surrounding suburb where the stadium is built!
'Hear hear!' someone shouted.
'Have the companies gone crazy that Mrs Nutter is too scared to make an Olympic logo made out of viennas on her kiosk?’
A crowd of other vendors, including Mrs Super Nice who has the candyfloss stand and Mr Very Kind who sells badges from his booth; they all began to gather round and they gave me a cheer
‘Double Hear hear!’ Mrs Everso Kind shouted, She’s Mr Very Kind’s wife.
I began to really pick up momentum.
‘Is it not insane that a young mother should be too nervous to bring her kid to the games , even if she could afford a ticket, if her six year old is not wearing an Olympic Sponsor’s brand shoe?’
‘Right on!’ The large crowd shouted that was now gathering along with some real police who were starting to circle the group.
‘Is it not crazy that these huge corporations who… well sure - its great that they have spent millions to have their logos all over the place, but have they gone brand mad? Have they completely lost sight of the most important element in business, a thing called goodwill?’
The crowd shouted as one, ‘Exactly!'
I went on, '‘I mean the games started in Greece. Perhaps the Greeks should get the proceeds of all of this - they need all the help they can get right now!’
Suddenly a policeman came forward, helped me off the crate and handed the pretty athlete her chips.
‘Settle down!’ the bobby shouted, 'McUknowho have just backed down from enforcing that clause of their contract. All the vendors can now sell just chips by themselves!’
The crowd whistled and cheered as Mrs Nutter and I made our way back to the stand.
It felt really good to have spoken out.
‘Could I have ‘tomatee soos’ with those and no wine-ager’ the lovely Venezuelan asked.
‘I beg yours?’ I asked the sweet and very pretty athlete who was still with us.
But Mrs Nutter understood and sorted out the sauce and just stopped me as I was about to sprinkle the vinegar.
And Mrs Nutter with all her wisdom of her 94 years really did understand because she looked up to me and said gently, ‘La you know, Winston Churchill did once say, ‘They also serve, who stand and wait!’
Then she began to serve another chips only order and added, ‘And that would apply to the two of us here who are just serving ‘chirps’ and stand and wait!'
We both burst out laughing and when we had finished hugging, for what must have been 3 minutes, I proceeded to start the gag about ‘How many chickens does it take to cross the Olympic Village?’
‘Nah, I have heard it La,’ she interrupted,‘None cause there's no chickens here - only heroes!'
On the way home on the bus to our flats, Mrs Nutter offered me one of her cigars and said, 'I save them for only the most special of occasions!'
'Indeed,' I said, 'But I'll have one of my Winstons, if you don't mind!' and at that we laughed all the way home, so much that the other passengers were looking at us!
Tomorrow the games would begin and La will be there serving 'chirps' and his country! Wait, I mean the world!
Dreams do come true but not always the way you dreamt!
Footnote: This particular fantasy episode was based on real life news that McYouknowho had backed down on preventing other vendors from selling just chips by themselves in the Olympics. Have you ever I ask you haha!
See previous La's Olympic Dreams http://lawrencehilton.com/1/category/las%20olympic%20dreams20ce1c2086/1.html
script © 2012 Lawrence Hilton
Pics as credited by Mark Legward
Other images remain property of owners & used here by way of blog purposes only
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